Advertisements and offers for Saint Valentine have already begun to appear — for a day supposedly meant for lovers, a happy day and, at the same time, one of those occasions couples seize to show their interest in one another. As if by magic, quite a few people forget their problems and embrace the pleasantly dressed atmosphere, allowing only positive elements to emerge on the horizon we may choose to call ‘company’, ‘family’, ‘acquaintances’, and so on.
I will not deny that, in many cases, the occasion described above can be a source of enjoyment and may even strengthen the feelings of many people. Yet the day continues to carry many false ideas about the ideal partner and the way that partner should show interest. A simple example is the wish uttered by those who are at least in a relationship that day: ‘many happy returns’, even though neither of them has the slightest idea or plan for the following weekend.
The day has been greatly misunderstood and, consequently, so has its importance in sustaining a relationship. To begin with, taking advantage of a single day — one that does not even exist in the culture or history of certain countries, being Catholic in origin — to tell a person you chose how you feel: is your commitment really so special when you choose to express your joy at exactly the same time as hundreds of thousands of other people?
Naturally, I may seem excessive, and arguments may be levelled at me such as ‘it does not happen only then, but throughout the year’ or ‘they know, and they act accordingly’. The truth, however, is that what is proper, or the ideal that should exist in a relationship of this kind — at least beyond relationships with family and friends — is not being done. A mask is put on and then forgotten upon their faces, while their short-term joy allows them to ignore the long-term problems that negligence and naivety may create.
Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Does a glass not fill drop by drop as well? (Slowly, perhaps, but it fills.) It would be beautiful to see smiles not because the day demands them, and dreams because both people want them rather than because stereotypes impose them — Valentine’s Day itself being one such stereotype. To be someone’s daily thought without becoming a routine. Trying to fit something so personal into a frame is rather naive. Rules are laid down that you must obey at all costs if you want smooth sailing; and if something is disliked, it is judged negatively by people outside that sphere.
Nevertheless, one should also consider the pleasant side of the matter. You give gifts and appear good regardless of the circumstances; you reshape phrases heard everywhere, yet you are considered unique and, above all? You escape reality for a little while.